We Are Meant to Grieve in Community - This Is How You Can Find Yours

We Are Meant to Grieve in Community, This Is How You Can Find Yours

The Importance of Community

Grief is a heavy load to carry - too heavy to carry alone. Community support as we grieve is essential. There are days that we might struggle to find the energy to cook or wash dishes, and the arrangements that need to be made after a loss can be overwhelming.

Beyond the things that we have to "do" there are just as many things that we might feel. The journey through grief can be confusing and dark at times as we re-discover our identity without our person present. In these moments we need reassurance and love. We need reminders that we are having normal feelings in response to an unbelievably difficult experience.

In these heavy moments, we must ask for help. To be frank, there are times where asking for help is not an option because we are in such need of rest or coping with a big wave of grief.

How do we find that community?

I think we can get creative with how we build out our community to make sure we have the support that we need. Our community can involve friends that we feel safe sharing with about our grief, therapy groups, and online communities. Let's talk about each of these:

Building Community

Friendships:

Every single relationship that we have is irreversably changed when we experience a loss. This means that our friendships also change. Some of our friends might not understand how to support us through grief, and others might feel too uncomfortable and fade away.

That part hurts.

But, there is a silver lining.

While the friendships that we thought were strong might weaken and fade, other relationships will seem to blossom and grow in a way they didn't before. And that, dear friend, is start of a wonderful thing.

To encourage and build these relationships, you might have to explore vulnerability in a way you hadn't before. Allow yourself to step into that slightly scary space for the sake of building those wonderful and genuine connections that will grow and lift you up even on your hardest days.

Allow those friendships to be a refuge and help you as you rediscover joy. Practice self-love, and through self-love, show your true self in these friendships. Friends that can show up even when things are heavy are showing that they are truly there for your whole self.

Therapy Groups:

There are many fantastic support groups specifically for grieving hearts of all kinds. Maybe this solution isn't for everybody, but for those folks looking for a community of people that are going through grief too, a therapy group could be an excellent way to feel less alone in feelings, and gain tools to work through difficult emotions.

I don't think that this is a one-size-fits-all moment. As you seek out a support group like this, feel empowered to shop around and ensure that the core values of the group align with your own, and that you feel heard and supported.

Online Communities:

Social media can be a wonderful resource when it comes to grief and loss. As we grieve it is normal to wonder if we are "doing it right" and to feel isolated at times. Social media can help remedy those feelings. I can honestly say that social media has brought me so many supportive and unique relationships.

As you explore these grief and loss spaces, you might notice a variety of different approaches. There are some folks that focus on how difficult loss is, some who focus on the hope aspect, and those that offer insight into the 'why' of how we experience grief.

Make sure you check in with yourself after interacting on social media. Are you feeling better or worse? Do you feel heard and seen, or are you having sympathy pains for others' loss. Follow and Unfollow accordingly.

No matter how you move forward, guard your heart relentlessly. You need to prioritize yourself in these delicate moments. Make sure you are surrounded by support and friendship that builds you up and makes you feel validated and heard. You deserve it.